Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Small penises have feelings too.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
