Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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