If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
