Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
