Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
