I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
