you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
