I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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