the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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