I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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