There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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