Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
