sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
