I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
