That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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