is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
