I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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