iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
