I wish I could teleport
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I deserve to be covered in dicks
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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