Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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