i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
