Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
