no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
