conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
