So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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