I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
