you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
