There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
