Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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