I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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