Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
