what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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