I feel like abortions should bother me more
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
