quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have fence marks all over my body
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