Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
