Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
