That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
