whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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