pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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