My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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