You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
