shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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