Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
