I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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