What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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