I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
high people should be assigned attendants
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
