i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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