What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
