You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
