I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
