You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I will be naked everywhere
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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