to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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