I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
